The Experts View on Bullying
Friends and readers. As you know we at PiltonSucks.com are running an anti-bullying in the work place campaign. To that end we arranged to sit down with an expert in that field to get an insight into the state of mind of a victim of bullying. Here is an eye opening insight into what we found out.
We spoke to Anna about her experiences of dealing with victims of workplace bullying and she agreed to give us an overview of some of the problems.
Anna told us that the victims reactions come in different forms but the most common link between them is that they perceive they have been the problem such was the effect bullying had on them. Victims felt guilty about being bullied and also had a feeling of isolation, that nobody cared and life had become meaningless.
This she said was because they had been a single target and all the bully’s energy had gone into bullying them. Once she got them to open out it was pointed out to them that this in fact is a normal reaction and that the bully deliberatly set out to achieve this, belittleing them sometimes in front of colleagues other times when they were on their own but the agenda was the same maximum damage to the victim.
Usually she would meet the victim after they had visited their G.P. who had refered them. The victim may be suffering from stress and/or depression and may even feel suicidal, such was the effect of long term bullying. The G.P may have also precribed a course of medication which could in a lot of cases last up to six months. She would see the victim possibly once a fortnight to council them and try to get the victim to open up and relate to her their experience. This can often be difficult as it has been a traumatic experience and the victim can easily retreat into themselves.
She told us that she would try to get her patient to lead a normal a life as possible telling them not to hide away but to continue onas per usual. This she said honestly was easier said than done. She recalled one patient who liked sport but was afraid to go outside the house, she encouraged him to carry on and not to let the depression get a hold, the medication would help and they did not have victim of bullying printed on their forehead.
It is difficult for other people who have no experienced bullying to comprehend just what kind of effect it has on victims and how it can change their whole perception of life. What once might have been a happy go lucky person was now a shadow of that and life would have to be rebuilt.
She went on to tell us that employers have to recognise that bullying is a real problem and deal with it head on, much of the material we have already posted on this site. Anna felt that employers were only to keen to blame the victim as this was the easier option and this meant not having to confront the bully who was probably a colleague of theirs. Nevertheless it had to be dealt with before an explosion occured and somebody died as a direct result of bullying. Certainly there have been deaths where bullying was suspected but never proved, so she felt government had to step in to ram home the message that bullying in any form was unacceptable and would be dealt with severely.
At the request of the person we interviewed we changed her name to Anna.