Denial- The Bully denies everything
[a] Variations include trivialization [this is so trivial it is not worth talking about] and the fresh start tactic [I do not know why you are so intent on dwelling on the past and look what is past is past, i will overlook your behaviour and we will start afresh] - this is an abdication of responsibility by the bully and an attempt to divert and distract attention by using false conciliation. Imagine if this line of defence were available to all criminals. This could do wonders for prison overcrowding.
[b] RETALIATION; THE BULLY COUNTER ATTACKS. The bully quickly and seamlessly follows the denial with an aggressive COUNTER-ATTACK of counter-criticism or counter-allegation, often based on distortion or fabrication. LYING, DECEPTION, DUPLICITY, HYPOCRISY and BLAME are the hallmarks of this stage.
The purpose is to avoid answering the question and thus avoid accepting responsibilty for their behaviour. Often the target is tempted or coerced-into giving another long explanation to prove the bullys allegation false; by the time the explanation is complete, everybody has forgotten the original question.
Both a and b are delivered with aggression in the guise of assertiveness; in fact there is no assertiveness [which is about recognising and respecting the rights of oneself and others] at all. Note that explanation- of the original question - is conspicuous by its absence.
[c] FEIGNING VICTIMHOOD: In the unlikely event of denial and counter-attack being insufficient the bully FEIGNS VICTIMHOOD or FEIGNS PERSECUTION by manipulating people through their emotions, especially guilt. This commonly takes the form of bursting into tears, which most people cannot handle. Variations include indulgent self-pity, feigning INDIGNATION pretending to be DEVASTATED, claiming they are the one being bullied or harassed, claiming to be deeply offended, melodrama martyrdom [if it was not for me] and a poor-me drama [you do not know how hard it is for me….blah blah blah… and I am the one who always has to… you think you are having a hard time…I am the one being bullied]
Other tactics include manipulating peoples perceptions to portray themselves as the injured party and the target as the villain of the piece.Â
A further advantage of the denial/counter-attack/feigning victimhood strategy is that it acts as a provocation. the target who may have taken months to reach this stage, sees their tormenter GETTING AWAY WITH IT [as seems for the time being with the MUIRHOUSE SOCIAL WORK CENTRE BULLY] and is provoked into an angry and emotional outburst after which the bully says simply, There I told you he was like that. We would urge the MUIRHOUSE TWO to refrain however tempting that may sound into any kind of emotional outburst, that is exactly what the MUIRHOUSE SOCIAL WORK CENTRE BULLY wants.
Anger is one of the mechanisms by which bullies [and all abusers] control their targets. By tapping in to and obtaining an inappropriate release of pent-up anger the bully plays their master stroke and casts their victim as villain.  Â