Spin Till You Are Dizzy
Employment for spin doctors has blossomed under Labour,as tales of new this and new that have been spoon fed to us. But wait on there is much more to come as the dreaded election approaches. We will not be able to sit on the toilet without a candidate handing us the bog roll with a smile on their face. In fact if you sit there long enough they will wipe your backside for you.
We as an electorate have the unenviable job of seperating the truth from the bull shit,easy enough you may think,but is it. As you read if you can be bothered the leaflets that will clog up your letter box,and listen to the tired old messages from the brain washing party political broadcasts,it will be all sunshine and roses with plenty of jam tomorrow.
Not so.The candidates banging on your door to shake your hand and bombard you with stories of achievment have troden this path before so it will be well rehearsed,and practically lie perfect. You may even see them coming down your street,so you will have the chance to put off the lights and close your curtains,or even better if you have one get your dog to bark,that has two gains. the punter that is putting the leaflet through your letter box will think twice,and the candidate will think twice before they bother you.
Avoid the shops,it is probable that a stall usually a paste table ,will be set up offering you balloons and stickers,which will be thrust into your hands or, on if you have one your babys pushchair. There is in all probability no escape,but you can always try. You can all to easily get caught up in the jamboree,and actually believe what they are trying to sell you,as you will very rarely get a chance to question them on anything pertaining to what is actually going on in your community.
Greater Pilton will no doubt suffer from this plague of vultures desperate to secure your vote,reminding you of past party loyalties and pulling on your good nature with the promise of a lift to the polls or a postal vote as long as you vote for them. Don’t be fooled by this mirage of good will and friendleness,for the morning after you will be forgotton and just another pleb they needed to get back in.
Yes you will be spun around and back again till you are dizzy and heady with promises and good things to come. In fact they might even know your first name,having been told it by the hanger on behind them. The publicity machine will creak into action making sure the candidates second face or their best one is beaming out from the leaflet,and they are smiling just for you,because they are your pal,and nothing is to much for you.
You will find new places to hide as the candiate approaches you to shake your hand and demand your vote with menace,you do not know what to do,run,hide play dead or the simplest way just ask a meaningful question,that will soon get rid of them.
The three now two musketeers Messers Mcginnis and Fitzpatrick practiced in the dark arts of electioneering along side Mr. principles Chisholm will form a formidable front line and a shall not pass mentality. No doubt they will have a mountain of achievments to tell you about,so you won’t have a chance to question them on the real issues,so don’t bother,just get in training so you have enough stamina to get away from them.
So just as a final thought for the moment.For all those who seen trainspotting,you will remember the scene in the toilet. Just as you thought it was safe to go into the lavy,up through the pan pops one of the musketeers thrusting a leaflet into your hand.Just keep your other hand firmly on the flush.one gentle pull and all the shit disappears.