The Polls The Limit
With the SNP riding high in the lastest opinion poll,where has it all gone wrong for the tired old party who have run out of steam and ideas and continually refuse to allow new blood into it’s closed door ranks,the Labour Party.
We see it down here in Greater Pilton with the same faces trundled out to sell us a second hand message that we have heard so many times before Malcolm principles Chisholm who will come to our rescue astride his white charger offering nothing to improve the lives of the poorest and weakest in our community. Bill nowght to do with me Fitzpatrick who still believes in Santa Clause dressed in red of course,and that Lee Harvey Oswald was the lone gunman in the book depository.Â
Our good friend and regular sucks reader Jingling Bill who is older than old Labour itself and twice as boring, should gracefully retire and take up a membership of the ever increasing empire that is PEP.  Jingling who knows a thing or three about real ale and is Jingling Geordies personal real ale taster and can often be seen skipping happily down the Royal Mile as happy hour draws close at his favourite watering hole Jingling Geordies or his second favourite watering hole the gin joint where mine host Tom tubby Ponton resides,slumbered over the bar telling tales of when he lead the Torries to the barricades,only to realise nobody would let them in,so he wandered into oblivion and became a part of the lumpen politeriate malcontents.
Never mind Bill once you have mastered the use of the mobile phone you could apply for a job in a call centre,possibly one in the indian sub continent,there’s plenty to chose from,as many punters will know to their cost as they sit down to their tea of an evening,only for the phone to ring and a pest on the other end in very bad English asks you if you are interested in double glazing,or cavity insulation, F–K OFF is the reply most favoured but out of politeness rarely used. So that’s what you might have to look forward to Bill.
And on to our close friend and private club chairperson Lizzie Waterfront McGinnis whose cheesy grin belies a steely interior where her lazor like antennas can zoom in on a opponent and patronise them to death. Lizzie is surrounded by her private club members most of whom owe their jobs to her and the continuation of these posts may be dependent on our Lizzie getting re-elected. If our Lizzie had any common sense or humility she would have seen through these vultures and sought advice of those with nothing to gain,but alas that’s not the case,and Lizzie now according to a local poll lies in a dangerous 4th place,so much for pals eh Lizzie.
Pilton Sucks takes an overall view of the elections and favours no party or person although we cannot stick the Torries and the Lib Dems are just limp dicks. The one big disappointment and the blame lies firmly at the feet of the ruling party and their elected members,and runs in the face of Councillor Ewan Aitkins stand against injustice,and is right slap bang centre of the new ward so there is no escape,and that is our reporting of the serious mis management at Muirhouse Social Work Centre and the dreadful workplace bullying that went on there.
What we have reported on is true and can be backed up with hard evidence. But that aside for the moment. We believe Ewan Aitkin to be a decent person and a man of honour,and we are sure that his statement was honestly meant and from the heart. It is a pity that at this moment in time we cannot say the same for Bill and Liz. Â
P.S Friends and readers it has just been reported that Bill nowght to do with me Fitzpatrick has been seen skulking around Fishmakets Close,could anybody enlighten us as to why,or can we make a wild guess.